Guess I’ll never make fun of cheesy, melodramatic love songs ever again.

Life right now is like trying to catch fog with your bare hands. It’s… odd. And I… I…

I could get used to Tokyo. Really. It's a rather interesting place, but you're far too alone here, and it's the kind of solitude that makes one... empty. I don't know. I wonder how Sanada will like it here.

I'll be going home tomorrow. I have no intention of spending New Years away from home. I'd stay if he asked me though... With the utter most pleasure.

If there's not too much trouble, I'd like to meet you for some catching up, Tezuka-kun. :) I miss talking to you.

[ooc: Strikeouts deleted. >.> ♥]

( Private )

I'm going to go visit Sanada and see that he gets settled in okay. Yanagi, as our new Vice Captain... See to that people do what they should.

Team. I’ll be compiling a review of the past year soon, and if any of you’d like to make a comment about your work, please feel free to reply to this post. The comments are screened, but please do expect that I’ll sit down with each and every one of you to review your progress.

[ooc: Let’s pretend that the comments are screened. 8D;;]

Things are better, I suppose. But I'm very uninspired lately, and I don't like it, because both my tennis and my painting suffers from it. I... suppose this is what they call lovesickness? It's quite pathetic either way.

Tezuka-kun. Happy belated birthday. I miss your company.

Yagyuu-kun. All the best.

Oshitari-kun. Keep it up and make the best out of this year.

Atobe-kun. I hope this year will be a happy one.

Saeki-kun. All the best to you too.

Mukahi-kun. Break a leg this year... Just not your own. :3

Kirihara. Try and live another year without killing yourself or anyone else.

I truly never expected me to be the kind of person who'd actually manage to fall in love with someone. It's quite annoying, really, because it takes time away from things I'd be better off concentrating on.

One thing that's good is that it has given me quite the inspiration kick; I'm painting again, daily. And I like the results. Hm.

This one makes me feel strangely peaceful. I like it.

Mother say I should spend more time painting and less time on my tennis. It's a difficult decision to make, and I'm going to consider it very carefully.

Been quiet again, but I've been busy with school and the like, and been doing a small check-up. Turns out my blood pressure isn't the best, so I'm to take medications because of that, and they really don't taste good, but all in all, it's no big deal.

I've started painting again. It's quite nice, but my hand keep wanting to draw one particular person, and that feels rather weird. I should just stick to landscapes and flowers, really... Hm.

Happy birthday to me. The day started oddly enough, as I woke with a blinding headache, but it soon passed. I guess I just didn't drink enough water yesterday, I'm dehydrated. Got myself quite the lecture from dad because of it, which I suppose I deserve. Anyway. I got a few presents from mom and dad, among other things a memo with this Renoir painting on the cover:



Isn't it beautiful? ^_^ I got really excited and I actually hugged mom, something I haven't done since I was like... 12 years old or something. She looked as startled as I felt. ^^;;

I also got a CD with classic music and a few pots, really cute ones. And new tennis shoes. There will be cake later tonight, and I'm having a few people over from my class. Of course you guys from the Team can come too, if you want to.

Oh! And I got a small set of acrylic pencils from my little sister. And a sketch book. Bless her~

I think I'll go lie down for a little bit however, so that I'll be fit and cheerful at the party, because I can't let my guests down, right? Seiichi fight~!

And that is that I haven't updated since November. Which is quite horrible when you think about it. Maybe it's just that I really have a hard time expressing myself in a text I know others will be able to read? I suppose that could be it. Anyhow...

This song:



Is one of the strongest ones I've heard and it makes me think of how much there is that's wrong with the world, and what one could possibly do to help out. Hm...

I think things have calmed down a bit. Seems like there was quite the uproar because of me leaving to Tokyo, but with the tennis season behind us, most of the guys have calmed down. I'm quite happy to see that, as it was a bit sad. Well, moving on. I have a big presentation that's due in two days, and the other people I'm working with have decided that it seems like a good idea to dump all the work on me, for some reason or the other. I can't say that I approve, however, I do, unlike others, hope to get decent grades, and therefore I will do my best. Of course I'll give myself credit for all the work that I've done, the others will just have to deal. No work, no credit, and no good grades. It's no concern of mine.

Over at Tezuka's. In Tokyo. Should you need me for anything that concerns the team, please don't hesitate to give me a call. Only if it's important though, but I'll leave it to you to decide what's important and what's not.

The journey went safe enough.

And Tezuka's house is very beautiful. Relaxing.

Going to tennis practice tomorrow.

I had the most peculiar dream. I dreamt I had an incurable, leathal disease, and I was trying to find a way to tell the team about that. Most... Unsettling. It even woke me up, because it just felt too real. Like the time when I tried to come up with a way to tell people I had GBS. I... don't like it.

Not much has been going on lately, and I guess life's continuing in it's same kind of lull, not that I'm complaining. It beats going in and out of hospitals all the time at least. I can focus much more on my tennis, and I feel as if I have a lot to catch up to still, wich is rather bizarre, all things considering. How is everyone else doing?

Since I was talked into it... Here's my journal. I hope you people are happy now, hm? Anyway... I had a strange dream yesterday. Won't go into details, but when I woke up it really made me think about my life and where it has gotten me at this point. I'm rather pleased with the result, however there's always this small voice in my head telling me that I could always do more. I hate that nagging feeling, hate that maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. But as I hardly even know what goal I'm trying to reach, it's quite difficult to figure out what I should do so that I'm not left with this feeling of being inadequate.

I was out for a run yesterday, ran about six kilometers, and that really felt... Nice. I'm thinking I should do that more often, however running alone is never as satisfying as having a company when running. I'm afraid I might not be the most exciting company myself though, and I'm not sure who I could ask to tag along. Either way, it was quite the beautiful day, however a little bit windy, and when I was done, I stopped by this lovely little tea house and just relaxed. It's quite the nice feeling really... Being relaxed.

If schoolwork wasn't weighting me down like this, maybe I could try that more often. And no, I'm not even quite sure what I'm writing here, or why I am writing it, but I think these things are around for you to ease your mind, right? Typing down things that bothers me at the moment seems like the appropriate thing to do.

But that would be everything for today.

~ Seiichi